Why I like blogging so much.

I'm on a roll. One long post deserves another, eh?

I want to jabber about why I like blogging so much. Why it feels so cathartic.
And I will.

And that's precisely why I like it so much.
Blogging allows my selfish side to escape, gorge itself with self-indulgence, and return to its repressed corner of my brain, fully satisfied.

I can write whatever I like, and I do, and that makes me happy!

Treating people with respect has, as one of its key tenets, having respect for other people's opinions and viewpoints.
I believe in treating people with respect. So that means that sometimes in conversation, you have to defer to someone else's opinion. And you have to stop talking about whatever it was that you were so excited to talk about, and listen to what they have to say. That's great; it's not really conversation if one person does all the talking. A conversation won't go anywhere without that principle - that both people are listening and reacting to each other's comments.

Well, sometimes I want to get on my soapbox and just ramble to anyone who will listen.
I have strong opinions, because I think about things a lot. This much is probably obvious.
But, often, on subjects where I have strong opinions, it would be disrespectful to voice them.
This is an important thing to live with. You might have a strong opinion, but don't offend people with it.

I was at a gathering this weekend, where a comment was made on the theme of religion, which was both patronising and insulting. I felt a near incandescent rage as a result. It would have been inappropriate for me to strike the person who made the comment, but far less inappropriate than actually making the comment was.
People should consider that their beliefs and opinions are just that: theirs. Evangelising is disgraceful.
I do appreciate that people have a right to express themselves. But treating people with respect can involve waiving that right.

But here, if I felt the desire to, I could make comments perhaps almost as inappropriate as the one I received which deeply offended both myself and a close family friend.

I like to think that I'm mature enough to realise when I'm saying something which is either a lie or based on a very naive foundation, and I hope that I'd stop myself. At least I can postedit text when the realisation hits.
But here, I control the topic.
Here, I can render my position in as much detail as I wish, focussing on whatever aspects take my fancy.

Here, I can say whatever I like.

And that feels great.

Possibilities.

Well, I've not blogged in a little while, so this evening, I'm going to treat myself with a little self-indulgence. And, of course, that means that the blogspot servers will have a load more pseudo-philosophical ramblings to deal with.

I've been thinking about possibilities - not particular things that are possible, but more generally the concept.
So, first, I think I should try and define a possibility. I think a possibility is something that might happen. I think that it's different from a goal. Goals can be accomplished - they're tasks which you can achieve with enough directed effort.
Possibilities are things that you do, or don't want to have happen - but I think the key is that they involve other people in intangible ways.

Getting signed to a record label is a goal. If you want to get signed to a record label, starting from scratch, there is a set path that you can walk - it involves developing an adequately mature musical perspective, an understanding of what the record label is in business to do, and developing the skills to produce material which the label will distribute. Really, unless you go out of your way to upset someone (which is always a... possibility), you can get things sorted.

Possibilities are more infirm.
Possibilities involve other people in ways that you cannot predict.
Neuro-linguistic programmers (Derren Brown, anyone?) will tell you that you can control people in the same way that you can control anything else. Well, perhaps you can, but that's not a viewpoint I subscribe to. Even if it is possible, for any practical situation, that degree of cold heartless manipulation of a person is just not feasible. [Perhaps I'm letting slip here that I find the whole concept a little distasteful.]

Possibilities are hopes and dreams. If they were definitely attainable, they would be goals.
That promotion is most likely a possibility rather than a goal - unless you can build a scenario whereby it has to happen, or force a hand, you're not in charge.

And there's the point. Possibilities relate to eventualities where you are not in charge; you might be half in charge, but you don't hold the deciding vote. And as long as you cannot cast the deciding vote, it remains a possibility.

Possibilities... do they offer more potential for happiness than goals?
Goals lead to self-satisfaction - the knowledge that you have accomplished something, irrespective of how much outside help is involved.
Possibilities lead to externally derived happiness. The knowledge that someone else wants to validate your existence, you as a person.

Goals offer less potential heartbreak than possibilities. If you don't succeed in your goal, it's because you uncover some level of complexity that leads you to realise that it's not a goal; just a possibility. Or, it's because you've given up.
Possibilities offer the potential to blow up on you without your involvement.

Staying signed to that record label is a possibility. Once you've got involved with the people, it all changes.

I work for my goals. I'm realistic about how much effort I need to put in, and if I'm serious about wanting something, I put the time in to get it.
However, there's a possibility in my life right now, which prompts me to write.
It has the potential to offer me an incomparable level of happiness; far more than any goal I can strive for - because, of course, it originates externally.
But, it's just a possibility. Hopefully this writing won't influence the balance one way or the other. But there is no set path I can follow to predetermine the outcome. I am aware of this fact.
And I am more than a little scared. Most of my time, I work to pursue goals. I know what my returns will be, and it gives me great satisfaction to achieve things. There is little risk in my day-to-day drive forwards.
Perhaps I'm unfamiliar with risk - perhaps everyone is?
But I'm scared, and I think I've justified why.

Yesterday, in review.

1) Richer Sounds. Things you know are true, but are hard to deal with.
2) McDonalds. What we need is Mac Donalds.
3) Why I don't go out in my town.
4) Balance.

1) Richer Sounds.
Yesterday, my flatmate and I went out to buy him a new Hi-Fi. Since I can hear, I was deemed a good person to take along. So, off we went.
We went to Richer Sounds, because they have good stuff, and are always very cheap.
Naturally, in accordance with Rule #1 of buying speakers, we prearranged to have a listening session.
We set up a pair of Mordaunt Short speakers with a Cambridge Audio amp. Both of these brands have strong reputations, as you may well know.
They just weren't cutting it.
So we swapped in some Kef speakers; same problem. Then some floorstanding MSs. Same again.
It's got to be the amp, right?
So, since you're in a shop who want to take your money in exchange for hi-fi gear, and they're well aware that you're going to make your decision based on what you hear, you'd not think it would be an issue to swap out the amp - especially since they've just swapped you through three pairs of speakers.
"All these speakers aren't cutting it - and in the same way... can we try a different amp?", said I.
"But that's our best rated amp", quoth they
"Well, all three pairs of speakers, including your 500ukp floorstanders are sounding bad, and bad in the same way", I said. "I'm a mix engineer; my ears aren't off - and certainly not that off - take a listen to them, you'll hear it straight away. There's nothing going on between 200 and 400Hz, there's an odd lump down at 100Hz, and another weird lump around 8k. I know HiFi stuff often rolls down that low-mid region, and tries to sweeten the top, but that's not what I'm hearing. Treat me like I'm insane if you have to, but just let us try another amp, ok?".
Now, on reflection, I realise that the entirety of that would have gone over their heads.
So, I select a Denon amp as its replacement - it was in the right pricerange for a start, rather than the silver faced 300quid monstrosity they were trying to push us.
In it goes. Immediately, the problem is gone. Kef cones sounding nice, and like a pair of Kefs usually do.
So, back we go to the Mordaunt Short floorstanders... Not cutting it... It's a three-driver arrangement, and the lowest driver is doing nothing... naturally one checks the biamp bridging... which is not screwed in properly on one speaker, and is absent on the other...
Quietly, we ask if we could borrow some metal bridges to solve the problem...
And now they sound like 500ukp floorstanders.
So, we switch back to our original MSs, and we're home. Perfect pricerange, and sounding awesome.
But the sarcasm and contempt with which we were treated really does boggle the mind as to how this can be a professional organisation.
I've no naivety to believe that Richer Sounds is interested in customers who can actually hear - they're set up to shift boxes using the tools of bullshit and plain lies to people who want something that looks stylish, and who frankly couldn't tell if they were wired up correctly. That's fine. But courtesy costs nothing. Treating my flatmate and I like we were actually human would have been nice. After pointing out that the amp was making a huge difference, and that they might want to check that the amp was working correctly - on the grounds that it was an expensive amp, and evidently must be good - got the reply "oh, is that what you think, is it?". I have refrained from invoicing them for my time so far.

2) McDonalds
So, on the way back, we went to McDonalds.
I'm not proud of that.
I eat McDonalds perhaps once every six months. I know what's going on there. I'm well aware. But nevertheless, when it's close enough the only option for food, I eat there. Shameful.
What we need is Mac Donalds. McDonalds already has the wireless internet access...
I want really expensive fast food, made from the most expensive ingredients they can find (A new G5 came through the other day with a Western Digital harddrive. Thanks Apple! Your thoughts are being appreciated out here!). I want my food to be served in elegant packaging; it has to be good, but I want to enjoy unwrapping it too. I want to know that whilst I'm eating my meal, attention has been paid to my cullinary experience.
Yeah, yeah, I know Apple does some evil behind the scenes; eggs and omelettes, you know. But if more things paid more attention to the user experience, wouldn't life be a joy?

3) Why I don't go out in my town.
Because it's full of chavs.
Need I say more?

4) Balance.
Well, there has to be something to do with music in my blog postings, doesn't there? I mean, it seems to be pretty much all I do (eating at McDonalds and buying HiFi aside).

As they say, "Nature abhors a vacuum". Everything has to be balanced. Rough sounds with smooth sounds (drums and strings; everything else in the middle). Questions and answers. Mellow sounds and Evil sounds - this is my latest realisation. Grimy distorted sounds add that required balance that keeps a pretty tune sounding like music... rather than drifting off into the ephemeral realms of melodic prettyness, of which I am so often guilty.

That'll do for now.

Things I want to bitch about.

Well, the last post ended with "here ends todays rant". That wasn't true. It's still today, and I'm still ranting.

Things I want to rant about today include:
1) How unhealthy my lifestyle is.
2) Pissed people yelling at me out of car windows for wearing Shorts in Summer
3) Fairness
4) Honesty
5) The power supply for my mac died
6) Working like a dog
7) Things changing

1) How unhealthy my lifestyle is
It was half eleven at night. I walked into town (I like walking), to get some food. I have something of a tendency (especially on weekend nights) to go for greasy food, and by preference, that's Burger King. It was a nice walk. I chatted to one of my friends on my mobile for half the walk; it's good to know he's alive and well, since I've not seen him in ages. I rang off, ordered my greasyfood (TM), watched the music videos whilst my food was reheated (cooked?), and wandered back home. Which is where I am now. Lots of people out in town tonight. No hassle from people on the street, which is good.

And it struck me how badly I eat.
I don't get a lot of sleep; I work late on music.
And, since I'm working at night, I'm not cooking.
My room is a mess, and currently contains four. Yes, four (4) (****) empty pizza boxes. That's just disgusting. And now the burger king packaging. I can never eat an entire burger king.
Everyone has a self-destructive streak, I think, and mine seems to manifest itself through eating burger king. I know what it's doing to my insides.
I need to fix this.

2) Pissed people yelling at me out of car windows for wearing Shorts in Summer
Really.
I know they're pissed, and that they don't mean any real harm, but it's annoying.

3) Fairness
If you give yourself a code of rules to live by, you kinda have to.
I'm single at the moment, and was considering the matter, when it occurred to me that I don't really have a choice in the matter.
Like I said, my lifestyle is pretty horrendous; I work like a dog, morning, noon and night, and it would be completely unfair to bring another person into my situation.
I like having a girlfriend. It's nice to love and to be loved.
But how could I reasonably expect another human to try and cope with me?
When would I see them? How would I find time to spend with them?
There's the old argument: "oh, you'd make time". Often repeated by naive, but well-meaning individuals who just have not got even the first idea about what my life is like.
My life looks set to get even worse; by which I mean some of the things I work on are looking to become sucessful. With enough fingers in enough pies, you will end up somewhere.
When that happens, I'll be stripping things down further to make time to support the sucess of things.
I'm going to be single for a long time.

4) Honesty
There's two types of honesty.
Honesty to other people - which isn't worth discussing. If you treat people with love, the honesty works itself out.
Honesty to yourself is the difficult one.
A lot of issues with honesty to other people stem out of it too.

But I'm not hinting at any deep secret I have here, but merely revealing something I've come to realise.

When you're making music, and wanting success from it, you MUST be honest with yourself about what you're trying to achieve.

If you want your record played by a certain DJ, be honest. Then figure out what he likes to play, and make something that he _can_ play. If you go mad, and pour your soul into an experimental arhythmic jazz masterpiece, and hand it to a club DJ, why would you be surprised when he doesn't play it?

If you want to sign a record to a particular label, make something that the label can sell.
If you want success, be honest. Focus on that.
I've heard people become releasing producers inside a year.
They know exactly what they want to do, and they do it. What they want to do is get their records released.

5) The power supply on my mac died
I have a powerbook. It's great. It means I can sketch music away from the studio.
The power supply failed.
I've seen about five of them die now. I paid my tax, after a good deal of complaining, and another is on its way. Not happy.

6) Working like a dog
So, I'm in a studio every night of the week, excepting the ones where I'm exhausted and fall asleep. I work like a dog. It's bringing results, and I'm learning a lot.
But, like I've mentioned above, it ain't healthy, and it keeps me single.
I don't believe in making music by random luck; I think it's about being honest about what you're trying to do, and doing it. That does take time.
I've received very kind comments in the past about my speed of workflow in the studio. Hopefully that can increase further, so I can spend more time sleeping.
But, and here's the thing, I'm involved with a lot of projects. I only work on things that I love; that's the rule. And there's still a lot of projects.
Even if I do get faster, it just reduces the time from conception to release. Perhaps I can try to maintain that delay, and get more sleep in... maybe even make time to have someone special!
But then, if projects become more successful, they'll require more time to sustain them.
Then what do I do?
There's a tendency for musical projects to require DJing to support them. When do I find the time?

7) Things changing
Things are changing.
I've recently started working with someone very high profile, who's been looking for a collaborator. We get on very well, and some lush music has resulted.
However, he's high profile, in the sense that labels ask _him_ for music... He doesn't go to them, they hassle him for tunes.
Now, I'm not surprised to find myself working with someone so accomplished, because, at the end of the day, I work like a dog; I do have a strict work ethic, and I've never been afraid of hard work. I know that if I could find someone like me to work with, I'd not pass up the chance, because I know that they'd be focussed and dedicated to the cause.
Yet the direction things are going is a little daunting. Like I've said before, time is sparse. I've had to slow down a few projects already to keep this one at its natural pace.
It's quite unnatural, I'm sure, for someone to be concerned by the promise of becoming a 'name' DJ and producer, but for me it really is about the music.
Like I've said; I have a dayjob, and whilst the money would be excellent (Clearing student debts? Deposit for a house?), the 'fame' doesn't help to do anything but constrict my time further.
That said; I can't imagine a better opportunity to make music that will make people dance and be happy, and it's in my genre of preference. I'm deeply grateful to my collaborator for all the guidance and instruction he's giving me. He's more accomplished than he realises - but even if he did, he'd still be grounded about it all. You just can't beat people like that.

Anyway, I've been too self-indulgent as it is with all this writing. I have to get back to work. I have a tune to write.

So, it's only fair to provide a little information about me.
Especially when you notice that the only piece of information I've filled in in my profile is that I'm from the UK...

That's deliberate. Code Zero is a name I was given by some friends who produce drum'n'bass, and it was originally specifically my DJ name whilst playing breaks/drum'n'bass.

There's another CodeZero out there, who's into piercings and heavy metal; he has, it seems, beaten me to all the best email addresses, but I've beaten him to the blog...
But only _one_ other CodeZero... so for a name someone came up with in a split second, it's pretty good going.

There's a small history behind the construction of the name, but that's boring, so you get spared the detail. Also, it's been adopted as my production name for, it seems, everything I work on now.

I have a dayjob, which is musical, but predominantly technical. In evenings and on the weekend, I can be found either in the studio or out clubbing. Sometimes I DJ too; I used to play out quite a lot under other names, but I've squashed that so I can spend more time in the studio.
In the studio, I'm either an engineer or a producer. This seems to depend more on the day of the week than who I'm working with or what studio I'm in. But I'm happy doing either.

Making contemporary music is a very creative process; there's a world of people out there who genuinely believe that you can make a dance track by pressing and holding a key on a keyboard. Truthfully, it is too much to expect the general population to have an understanding of the music making process. I've yet to hear anyone who can (without an engineer) make something that actually sounds like a dance record who has less than five years experience. There's a lot of knowledge that's required.

Engineering is something I know about; it's close enough to my dayjob to touch (historically, what I do for a living used to be called engineering). There is a lot of equipment used in making music; whether that's all software or hardware, there is a lot to know. Knowing how to use it all takes time, practice and experience. The more you learn, the more you realise that it's all about listening. I imagine that's true for a lot of creative things; being critical of your composition is a key thing; if you're painting, I imagine that a critical eye is that key ingredient to finishing the work. If you're writing, re-reading your text, to see where you've diverged from your intended expressions is the only way to tighten the material.

Obviously, I've been producing for as long as I've been engineering; noone really starts out as an engineer without having played with making music first. There'd be no common sense to guide yourself with. Recently I'm becoming more serious about production (because I'm having to be), and I realise that it's identical to engineering; but instead of equipment, your tools are your influences. Your critical ear guides you.

I've heard well respected producers tell me that they don't conform to anything, and they make their own sound. That disappoints me; I like the idea that all producers are conscious of what they're doing, and are self-aware of their creative process. Art is like energy; it can't be created or destroyed, only transmuted. No-one can tell me that they're not conforming when they programme a 4-to-the-floor house track. Certainly, I'm sure they're being true to their chosen form of expression, and not succumbing to anyone else's preferences. But it's plain naive to claim that you're not conforming when you explicitly choose to express yourself within a recognisable medium.

Perhaps I should live in the world of Techno, where being pseudo-philosophical about what you're doing is de-rigeur.

I believe that there's no such thing as creation, only reinterpretation. If I were to try and convince you that when I wrote a tune, I was using melodic and rhythmic arrangements that you'd never hear anywhere else, then unless I was composing some experimental atonal minimalism, wrapped around distortions of noise, you'd know I was talking nonsense.

I've been fortunate in my life to meet and know some very wise people. Even more so, I've been fortunate in that they've tolerated my immaturity for the duration of knowing them.
One such wise friend was hitting home today, discussing the life-cycle of a genre.
He was observing that genres develop through the import of influences from other genres.
Fundamentally, a genre comes to exist through a collection of like-minded people sharing a preferences for a set of rules and influences. Often through some technological innovation, this fusion of ideas, through new studio techniques, takes on a sound of its own, unheard of before.
It is, of course, fundamental that there's a set of influences that underpins a genre.
The development of a genre in its first phase tends to involve pulling those influences into full light through the reinterpretative process of the genre.
This is just part of establishing the genre.

Sucessful genres seem to pull in more and more influences; widening the influence base. Yes; this dilutes the genre, in a sense, but in another, it strengthens it by broadening it.
I intend to strengthen my preferred genres.
As a producer, it's my duty.

So, really, production is about absorbing a lot of music from other genres, and introducing it to your own.

Here ends today's rambling.

Well, I've avoided having a blog for a long time now, but it appears that I'm the only person in the world not to have one, so here it is. This is also partly being done in the hope of spurring on various blogging friends into updating their blogs more regularly... insightful people produce good reading.

Anyway, I suppose this is the first post, so it has to include a line which reads: "Anyway, this is my blog, where I'll be posting all sorts of crazy random things from my life". I read those lines, and I'm always convinced that the person writing it has absolutely not a damn thing which is either crazy or random going on in their lives.

So, instead, I'll update this blog as often as I can, which means most likely I'll post fairly frequently for a bit, then there'll be nothing for six months, then one or two more postings, then that'll be it.
Aren't things exciting when you know what's going to happen in advance?

Anyway, enough of this generic rubbish. I feel the need to isolate any actual information I post from this archetypal 'first post' nonsense by separating it into another post.

So I will.